Idle worries
by p020901
Summary: Summary: But this moment of peace is worth all of it. Tags: Future, a happier one. Lancaster. AU most likely. Finished.
1. Chapter 1: Jaune's side

Idle worries.

 _Summary_ : But this moment of peace is worth all of it.

 _Tags_ : Future, a slightly-happier one. AU most likely.

 _Chapter 01:_ Jaune's side.

* * *

Jaune Arc woke up from a thankfully dreamless night. As the days passed by so seems the nightmares just behind his eyelids, little by little.

He yawned. And felt a tug on his right arm and hand.

The first thing he noticed was, he was neither in his armor or boxers, and the bed was comfortably soft, a strange (if not entirely unwelcomed) change from his more utilitarian one back at Beacon huntsmen's dorm. Second thing he noticed, indeed he was naked and by his right side was a similarly naked Ruby.

Jaune Arc did not panic. He was not even surprised.

He merely took note of how the ray of light slowly encroached from the peaked curtains, shining on the pale-white skin of the still sleeping woman, the light almost glistening on beads of sweat on her skin. Under the sheet, their hands still linked like how it had been.

 _5:36 a.m., Vale +1. Ruby Rose's Residence._ 24 minutes to wake up.

Jaune laid like that for a moment. Resting, but not really. Blue eyes locked at her pale, thin form still snoring peacefully, her chest modestly covered only by a convenient arm, rising and falling with every breath. He noticed how peaceful Ruby looked asleep, how beautiful her smile was when she was unburdened by the weight of the world and her duty as the Silver-eyed Warrior, when that smile was the rare, real smile only occasionally seen in moments like these. A strand of red-tinged hair brushed agaisnt his skin, tingling like the room's temperature.

A small perk of being an early riser, he thought.

 _What are they, really? Friends, more than friends? A little bit further than that? A thousand thoughts crept into his mind, deafening whispers of doubt and worries unanswered by present._

Jaune remembered how last night, their bodies were entwined in love. How his kisses showered the scars over her right eye, just as hers over his scarred chest. How their bodies pressed agaisnt one-another for warmth, and...

 _Friends do not kiss, do they? Especially not what comes after._

He remembered the warmth he felt as he held her close - and felt that warmth on his skin when she snuggled a bit closer to him. The warmth of flesh and skinship and yet more than that, a fulfilment of some voids in the deepest part of his heart left by Pyrrha and then Nora and then Ren and then...

How much of it is love, and how much is just a blind desire to hang onto what was left?

He noticed how this had become a normal occurance for them, whenever he dropped by for a visit, or she him.

Time passed. _5:58._

 _Does it even matter?_

As the questions still rung in his mind, he noticed how his left hand absentmindedly ran through her silk-like hair, playing with a curled twirl like it was the most normal thing in the world. And how the quiet smile on her lips seemed to brighten as he did.

...She's too precious a friend to him.

 _Then why are you still doing this?_

There was no reply. He snoozed the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Idle worries pushed backed into the confines of his mind in prepare of a new day.

* * *

 _A/N_ :

Sorry, not sorry, couldn't resist writing this. The newest episode yesterday was GODS-AWFUL (as in what happened, not the quality which I have only the complainations of it being a bit short and cliff-hangy!), and I just wanted to pump out some good Lancaster and brighten it up.

Seems like what I got was, well, a wee bit on the sad-side instead. :P

Dense Jaune is dense.

Awaits Chapter 02: Ruby's side!

Cheerios! -P

Edit: reworked a bit, oh, and this is no longer a two shot. :)


	2. Chapter 2: Ruby's side

_Idle worries._

 _Summary:_ But this moment of peace is worth all of it.

 _Tags:_ Future, a slightly-happier one. Lancaster, romance, hopefully humor with a touch of sadness. No longer a twoshot, AU most likely.

 _Chapter 02: Ruby's side._

Ruby Rose woke up to sunlight peering through a pair of curtained windows reaching her eyes. Her hand moved unconsciously to cover her half-lidded eyes from the glare, her brows furrowing in displeasure. That's strange, she remembered setting the alarm earlier than this.

Silver eyes peeked open, not to a romantic scene, but a familiar one nontheless. An empty bed, her own. Alone again. Loneliness rose within her, a crawling feeling in her stomach as quickly as they were replaced with a small tug upward at the corner of her lips as the second thing she noticed was someone had tucked her in the blanket comfortably, warmly. Ruby let out a soft whine as she turned on her back and yawned. The slightly chilly morning air filled her lungs with a slight scent of sweat, and her mind a newfound clarity. Her throat was dry and parched. Her muscles were sore, even with aura-enhanced stamina. Adding in her state of undress left little room for interpretion of what happened last night - not that she didn't remember.

Silver eyes staring at the ceiling slowly blinked.

They did it again...

 _Why_ , she wondered.

It wasn't like she just felt like it.

She craned her head to the left, to the digital clock displaying the time (6:27, she noted, he let her slept in), and saw a bundle of carefully folded fresh clothes awaiting for her to wake up by her bedside. The little things that show her he cares, she thought with a smile.

He had always been her friend, right? A fellow team leader she could confide on back in Beacon. A teammate who'd always have her back, just as she'd always have his. Someone, one of the very few in the closed off circle of the Conspiracy that she could fully trust, one of the few old faces other from Weiss and Yang that could truly look into her and think 'Ruby Rose' and not 'the Silver-eyed'. A friend who had always been there for her, a trusted friend who'd never left her. Ever, even if it'd nearly costed him his life more than once.

A friend she'd clung onto last night, her lips and body and soul melding into his as one. She remembered how the thin line of friend and lover again blurred between them, the buzz in their heads they'd used as an excuse to excuse themselves from the Vytal Ball and snuck off back to her place. The little dizziness that had made her lean on to him (or was it the other way around?) and the little fluttering in her heart that had again made her said 'screw it' to all senses of duty and companionship to fulfill her selfish desires.

The thoughts continued to drift down her mind along with a small line on how many 'spur of the moments' that had been already. Her eyes fixated at the ceiling, her arms spreaded wide like a snow-angel on the soft white surface of the bed that she all-too eagerly sunk onto - a sorely missed luxury from her all-too often missions.

 _6:29 turned into 6:30. A beep._

 _Why_ , the question repeated.

Was it just because she was too lonely? That her missions away from home had left her craving for the presence of another human being? That her reputation as the Slayer of Salem and mantle as the Silver-eyed Huntress had made it so difficult to just make any meaningful bond to another person more than just idolization and reverence? That her duty and the -unfairness- of it all just made her want to break down and allow herself to be wrapped around by a pair of arms in a tight embrace, that her need for someone, anyone to hold her close and listen to her worries and -be- with her and just be there with her, that her need for a solid rock to anchor on was so great that she was willing to risk her closest, best friend again and again?

She felt her heart stricken in her chest.

 _No_. She knew without a doubt. She wanted _him_.

In and out. Her chest rose and fell beneath the white blanket as air flowed in and out in slow, steady breaths.

 _But does he want her?_

The crawling feeling inside her stomach did not subside.

Ruby sat up straight. She blinked, the bangs of hair over her right eye getting in her sight. The rest of her hair had gotten as long as her shoulders. Pushing them behind her ears (to little use, but it's a habit she got from Yang), she thought that maybe its time to have a haircut. Or just a quick trim, cause even if short hair is much less likely to het stuck or yanked at in combat (not to mention the feeling of wind in her hair that she enjoyed so much) she'd kinda took a liking to this.

Her head bowed down to look at her arms. And hands. Hands balled into fists, clenching into the white fabric of the blanket.

 _She and Jaune can't just remain friends like this._

 _6:31._

She should be feeling bliss. She felt bliss.

But it was so drowned out by this... feeling of forlornness, and regret, and fear.

She glanced at the door to the living room, just a few steps away, even in her naked form. And she knew that Jaune's right outside, up early as usual, practicing or cleaning or cooking or anything that his workaholic mind could think of. She knew that he would be there, he wouldn't abandon her, especially not after what they did, he wouldn't. Her brows furrowed, an enticing hypothetical scenario running through her mind. She could just go outside, tell him those simple words and...

 _And whisk him in, knowing that he'd comply, even if it'd hurt him?_ No, she wouldn't.

Her hands unclenched, and reached for the pile of clothes. She began to dress up, even if she knew she should shower first, her eyes glancing at the simple door and the alluring promise of hot shower on her skin. The stickiness on her skin protested loudly of the idea, something she ignored. She needed to occupy her mind, anything to take her away from this gnawing doubts within her. The sport bra's clasps clicked into place, red nylon and spandex weave covering unblemished pale white skin. Most scars fade away quickly, due to the nature of an activated aura, especially to people whose Semblance is healing. Most scars do, unless the person wanted not to, the scars will be filled in or fade away, leaving behind nothing but unblemished flesh that, or in the greatests of circumstances, a pale thin line barely visible unless squinted. Not for the scars over her right eye, not the scars that lined his chest. The scar in the shape of cracking thunder, of the purest essence of light discharging from her soul, the power that had brought the Queen of darkness to heel and the scars from the purest essence of darkness intercepted by a body.

She lifted a hand from her half-buttoned shirt down to her waist to trace over that ridges of healed tissue. And her mind absentmindedly provided her with the memory of how his lips had gently did the same as just a little below her hot breath ran on his sweat-beaded neck, vocal cords running hoarsh moaning eachother's names, her name...

A fluster. _Not now!_

Ruby clenched her eyes shut. _Get a grip of yourself, Ruby._ She reprimanded herself. _Not when you are deciding what and how you are going to_ solve _this. Focus._

 _Don't you want it? Don't you want him?_

 _6:34. The time is ticking._

She let her hands fell as took a deep calming breath, her mind trying to clear out the storm in her addled mind into neat rows of thoughts.

 _Yes_. She _wants_ him.

She wants _Jaune_.

She _knew_ she loves Jaune.

And she _knew_ it wasn't something one-sided, she remembered how his blue eyes spoke of both longing...

Her fingers clenched. And the storm inside her got that much worse.

...and doubts. Things she found reflected from her own. Fear of denial, of objections. Fear of the past, of the repeat of what'd happened, fears of the present, of the future and of moving too far and...

 _Fear of risking their friendship._

...and lose what they have.

She wanted to scream. Like a tidal storm of doubts crashing agaisnt her body, she wanted to scream. But she just couldn't find the strength to, and instead simply let herself fall back down onto the bed in a sitting position.

 _...Too many variables. Too many things can go wrong. Will go wrong._

 _Can she dare to risk more than this?_

She's not even that good at planning ahead, not like him.

 _Him_ again...

 _Gods, why does this have to be so difficult?_

The palm of her hand hit her forehead.

A dull pain throbbed. It faded away quickly, but it was an annoyance.

 _In, and out_.

 _6:37_. She finished putting on her clothes. Her heart remained heavy in her chest as she stood up and paused just before the wooden threshold to the living room.

 _Why does this always have to be so difficult._

The repeated statement illicited a laugh from her throat, broken and humorless. But it did help to clear up some of her priorities.

Why was she even wondering about this. Why was she even doubting about the same thoughts that had haunted her all these years.

 _Nonsense_. She dismissed her doubts, those results of an addled mind. She needed to think this clearer, at a later date and not like this, not the morning after where all she could think of in her mind was...

Her hand clutched on the doorknob. Cold metal turned in her hand as she peeked open the door -

 _Was it already proof enough that he's here? That all of her worries are for nothing and_...

Somehow, seeing him right there like always, up and early with his hands busy cooking breakfast and blue eyes like steel braving the new day, all her doubts and worries just melted away into nothing.

... _he's still here,_

\- and she smiled her brightest, most jubilant smile as she came out to greet him.

 _and that is good._

 _A/N:_

I'm sorry this chapter was also a bit short. But don't worry! I've decided that this story ought to be longer than a two-shot, and might even evolve into its own story, set in the Happy Future-AU! Or at least, a slightly-happier-than-it-could-be one!

Tell me what you guys think. I hope I've been able to portray... clearer, I guess, Ruby's side of things. Is it too... angsty? Or just too... unnatural? I tried to portray a doubting mind and all the jumbling-wombling internal thoughts and doubts jumping up and down and such.

Up next... I guess... the awkward morning after? As you can see, both Jaune and Ruby are in a funk right now. Probably all that hormones hazing their minds up. Let's see if a good talk over breakfast can solve it, huh? :)

Muses, muses, muses... the story continues on! Gods, I don't have nearly enough time with my school and things!

Cheerios! -P


	3. Chapter 3: The First time

_Idle worries._

 _Summary_ : But this moment of peace is all worth it.

 _Chapter 03_ : The First time.

* * *

 _They came together in the shadows of hope. Of broken dreams and shattered families._

The Second Great War was a cataclysmic event. The number of death ranged in the hundreds of thousands. The number missing, million. An inproportionate number of those were huntsmen and women and soldiers. None hadn't lost a brother, a father, a sister, a mother, a friend, a lover or a team member. None didn't have to grieve, but few had time to grieve, for the world continued to turn and day passed and more Grimm incursions to be quelled. The war had ended, Salem dead but the Grimm headless still lived; _towns to be reclaimed and villages resettled, banditry ran rampant, one village sacked for each the Grimm destroyed, nomadic caravans fading out of contact, CCT network in crumbles and fields of rice and wheat are sown on charred ashes of battlefields. Missions after missions and missions, burnt villages after resettled villages, lost and won, victories and ashes._

There was no peace, but many still tried. Stress and memories and _'what-could-have-been'_ s, mental trauma and past battles and the lost vignettes of youth ringing in their mind, constant reminder of the tiredness seeping into bones. The grip on reality blurred, unintentional or not. Some found peace at the bottom of empty bottles, some in war and some in whatever was left of their past. They hung onto it, she and him, _the last Scion of a Heroic bloodline and the final Incarnation of the Warrior spirit_ , clinging onto this fascimile of peace. Moments of tranquility between long periods of high-paced actions, of shared meals between two old friends and then time, of a war seemingly forgotten as all they had to care about were ' _now_ ' and not ' _next_ ', ' _present_ ' and not ' _duty_ '. Lines blurred, limits indistinct, high-thrilled lives rarely gave time for people to pause and think only enough to jump, leapt and hope for the best.

* * *

Soft and steady intakes of air, strained but disciplined ones, two breathes breathing in synchrony. The dim light of the bed lamp shone from it's kicked-over position on the floor, casting shades of light and darkness onto the walls of the bedroom.

Silver eyes flickered, an unbroken gaze fixated at the wall ahead. With her scarred eye buried in her hand, Ruby Rose sat, and thought. Thoughts and memories, recollections coming back through the hazed buzz of her mind. Everything that went wrong and everything that messed up and worse and the little few that had been right with her life. And she wondered, her current state of nakedness was which.

Movements, sounds of skin brushing on fabric. The other occupant of the bed shifted, and sat up. Hand running through smoky blond hair. Blue eyes unblinking, gears of logic grinding, clogging, jamming; the question of _'Something wrong?'_ was asked and answered by his own self.

 _ **Everything**._

 _A moment of drunkeness, of letting his impulses,_ unrealized _feelings to takeover, of losing to the sweet euphoria of her lips. Of her losing to her_ suppressed _emotions, to the warmth of skinship and the bond of teammates realized into something more._

"Ruby..." His hand tentatively touched her pale backside, and snatched away immediately when she recoiled from his touch. The breath caught in his throat. Her head bowed down, bangs of hair hiding both her eyes.

No words came out. No ' _I'm sorry,'_ or _'I should have stopped',_ or _'what happens now?',_ just a prolonged silence stetching for what seemed like forever.

Steady breaths continued to flow. _In,_ and _out_.

"...I'm hungry. Can you go make some breakfast?" She spoke, an order that was almost a whisper.

"Sure." And he had never been more relieved to proceed.

* * *

But a line blurred is still there, and the indistinct limits still aren't meant to be crossed. And once crossed there would be no return, however hard one tried.

There was no return, but they kept on trying.

* * *

 _A/N:_ Sorry for the very late update. Got a stiff writer block for a while, debating which route should I take with this story - slice of life or full of world building (as in, humor or angst-dripped stuffs.) Final conclusion? Experimental. Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Cheerios! :)

-P


	4. Chapter 4: All worth it - Epilogue

_Idle worries._

 _Summary:_ But this moment of peace is all worth it.

 _Chapter 4:_ All worth it/Epilogue.

* * *

It was months before they next met, on a brief levity between missions and the Remnant 1st Corp reclaimation of the colony of Verges. Face to face, the uncomfortable divert of eyes and feigned comfortableness that hid not-so-subtle twitches of corner of mouths. Why did they know they'd meet eachother here.

"Hey." "Hey."

Winds blew, blades of grass swaying back and forth like a wave of green on brown dirt, crashing into the gray boulders of the tiled plaza. A smoky smell of incense lingered in the air along with that of fresh flowers, a prayer to the fallens in form of red tipped embers of burning candles and incenses. Mistrali, Vacuoean, Atlesian and Valean, joined together in life as in death.

They sat, side by side, before a wall of names and pictures. The bench was wide, according to design, but for them it couldn't be shorter. Mouths opened, air flowed in and out but the sounds coming out in dissonance with words said.

"How long have you been here?" _Do you want to talk?_

"A few hours. Been taking some time off; the last few weeks have been... calm." _Yes, I do._

"Finally listen to my advice, huh. I'm sure they can handle a day without you." She slowly said. _About what happened?_

"Gonna be a pain in the ass to deal with piled up work afterward though." A shake of his head. _Talk, just talk._

"Yup." A relieved laugh.

The silence resumed. The wind picked up again, gusts carrying waffs of smoke and shortening of ember tips.

"It's rather... serene, don't you think?"

"I do." A nod. "It's... fitting enough. I'm just sad I wasn't able to be here when they erected it." A place to rest at the base of Beacon Academy, for both those alive and dead. Full circle, return to where they all started.

"Me..." Her voice turned quiet. "I'm just glad that, I didn't have to put too many names up there."

Jaune stayed silent, his hands reaching inside his pocket for a handful of small emblems. Hands balled into fists on his lap, cold bronze bit into flesh, pressure increasing on white-clenched skin. Anger. Sadness. Shame. Guilt. All directed at himself.

Her hand placed over his hands. Their eyes briefly met. Sadness laid behind her silver eyes and behind his own, but also understanding and sympathy. The pressure lessened, before fading away along with the awkward mood before. A wordless gesture that meant more than anything that had transpired between them.

A gentle nudge. He followed her lead, standing onto his feet. Striding to the wall of names. She stood behind him as he put the emblems on. A small space in a corner, now adorned four bronze emblems.

Lightning crossed hammer.

Blooming lotus.

Shield and spear.

Blue eyes closed shut. His hand lingered on the last, hesitation and regrets again filling him.

 _Twinkling eyes and warm, friendly words. A gentle hand picking him up when he falls, a firm hand to guide him to the correct path. Someone always there for him. Gentle and bright smile and hair red like ros-_

Roses.

"Thank you." And he finally set the emblem on. Eyes met again, silver and blue, before diverting. A weak smile on his face. The bronze metal seemed to twinkle in return as it was put to rest.

They stood there for a long moment. Waffs of incensed smoke drifted limply up the sky. Quiet prayers, some to the departed, some to those alive and a few to themselves. Red tipped embers burnt out, candles reached the end of their wick, ashes and wax falling to the ash tray. Electric light took place of natural, the sun setting on the horizon painting orange and red on the sky.

"It's getting late. Do you... want to come by for dinner again?" Smooth, real smooth, Ruby, she chided herself.

"How about better." He unconsciously replied. Why did he do it, knowing what was coming next? "There is this ramen place I know. Comm'on, my treat this time."

It didn't matter. For her honest, happy smile is worth all of it.

* * *

 _The End._

* * *

 _A/N:_ So... this is the end. A bit sudden. It was a fun experiment, a challenge, writing this. I'm sorry if it... is not to your expectations. To be honest, this was originally only a one-shot, then as I wrote one became two. And now this. I didn't exactly plan out everything, anthing - only writing it in class, in my spare time, listening to an unseen 'muse'. And unfortunately, my... muse is running out. Real life kinda gets in the way, a lot currently, so I kinda have to drop this story.

There are certain... possibilities in my mind, of course. Other ways this story could have went. A sappy love story. A tragic one. Angst ridden monologues. Break-ups, then make-ups. Arguements and agreements. Even this snip originally came out as part of chapter 03, after a particularly nasty arguement that they broke up over. But it didn't, I didn't (even when there are a few snips written out from my correspondence with Sandiiitos96 and poetrymagic12), for there was one thing I wanted, a core to this, something only reinforced by me staring all yesterday night at that blinking strip at the very end waiting for me to type out that scene... That at the very heart, first and foremost, this is a happy story. That this is how it should end, happy and hopeful. And if I have to end it now this is for the best.

So, this. I'm sorry if it was a bit sudden, but I hope I did alright.

My greatest thanks to you, readers, especially my friends Sandiiitos96 and poetrymagic12. Thanks, guys. Your confidence in me helped me finish this.

Cheerios! And see you in another story.

-P


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